Every morning, I rush downstairs to look at my indoor herb garden. I planted it a couple weeks ago, carefully placing seeds for rosemary, sweet basil, oregano, garlic chives, and sage in the soil, as well as some catnip and cat grass seeds for my cat. Each day since, I've started my day gazing at the soil and the herbs as they've begun to grow, love filling my heart.
As I gaze upon the growing herbs, I ask myself questions, running through a checklist in my mind. Is the soil dry? Are the grow lights positioned correctly? Does anything need pruning? Do the herbs need repotting so they have more space to grow? I take care of the plants, tending to their needs, feeling alive and energized by the presence of life.
When I love someone or something, I am present and attentive and consistent. Every few days, I reach out to a few friends to remind them of things I love and cherish about them. I make time to be there for them and to spend with them, and I share the vulnerable parts of myself, wounds and joys, with those I trust as well.
I do this not because I feel I have to, but because it brings me joy and reminds me of the people I cherish and why. Just like with the plants, it is not work, but love.
Often when I struggle to maintain a habit or work toward a goal, I feel like I "wasn't passionate enough." I'll try to learn a new language or try a new form of exercise, and I'll stumble and not restart, and I'll tell myself a story about that attempt: "I don't really care about this thing." Over time, that story grows into a narrative about myself. Often, though, I do care. I'm just telling myself the wrong story about why I'm doing the thing in the first place.
In those moments, I try to remember to return to my values. I remind myself that my narratives for action, and my actions themselves, need to be based around the values that I hold most dear and the visions for the future those values create. And I try to examine those values, as well, to ensure they still fit with who I am and what I want. Then I venture forth in love and act.
#reasons #habits #love #selfcare #stories #values #vulnerability
