Lately, my mental health has been in a rougher place, and I know I'm not alone in that. I've found it harder to do a lot of things - focus on my classwork, stay connected, focus on building this. But I've also found some things that are helping me find home in the tough days.
Presence in my body: Recently I got a bike and started riding it. I hadn't ridden a bike since I was ten, and I had to re-teach myself comfort in the movements. I can still only ride a couple laps of the neighborhood, and I return home with wobbly legs. But I also return home feeling alive. I feel connected to my body in a way I'd forgotten I could in those moments. I don't care so much about doing everything perfectly, or whether I'm communicating my thoughts well. I don't think. I just exist in the moment, and that moment is enough.
Presence in my connections: Whether things are feeling rough or happy, my friends are my rock. When I need to vent, I have friends that help me release the stress through conversation. When I need advice, I reach out to friends who have been through similar struggles and soak up their stories. When I'm happy, I reach out to friends to share my joy, and bring joy into their lives with reminders of their worth. Even if it's just one friend, try to identify someone you can talk to in each of those moments. Look for someone with shared values but different methods, and be each others' touch stones. If you can't think of anyone you'd feel safe being yourself beside, look on Meetup or in Facebook groups. Reach out to someone you admire on Instagram with some specific things you admire about them and a question. Comment on a blog or video you love with thought. You might make some new friends more aligned with your heart.
Presence in my surroundings: Sometimes, in the morning before work, I go down to a lake near my house and walk the path around it. I just discovered it recently, but it's already become my go-to for an injection of home and peace. As I wander the quiet path, staring at the mist rising over the water, I can feel myself settling into the nature around me. A couple days ago, a raccoon ran across the path in front of me, screeching. At first, it was startling, but watching it circle a spot on a log then settle in for a rest in the sun like a cat, I almost wept with the beauty and simplicity of it. It was almost like it took being startled to truly home me in the wonder of the world around me.
I'm still stressed. These aren't magic fixes, and some days I can't bring myself to even do them at all. But there's peace leaking in around the corners these days, and that brings me back to the present.
One day at a time, one step at a time, I will keep on walking. I will keep reaching out, I will keep pulling out my bike, and I will keep looking for the small moments and places of wonder in the world around me. And the more at peace I become, the more clarity I have on the sources of my stress, and the more ability to act thoughtfully to address them.
Keep walking with me.
