Quarterly Holidays

March 15 was one of my quarterly holidays, Day of Blooms. There are three parts to the Day of Blooms:

1. Serving Nature: Doing something to serve the world around us, whether it's planting a tree or picking up trash.

2. Recording Joys and Successes: Writing down all the little (and big) happy or rewarding moments from the last three months.

3. Setting Goals: Setting your goals for the next three months with your themes from the joys and successes in mind.

The next quarterly holiday is Ray Day on June 15. It is celebrated by:

1. Doing Something Kind: Spread kindness in the world, whether through donating to people or a cause you believe in, or volunteering your time, or some other means entirely.

2. Recording Joys and Successes: Writing down all the little (and big) happy or rewarding moments from the last three months.

3. Setting Goals: Setting your goals for the next three months with your themes from the joys and successes in mind.

After that comes my favorite, the Day of Leafs, on September 15. It is celebrated through:

1. Leaving What No Longer Serves You: Whether through a chant, burning a letter, or some other means, ritualistically saying goodbye to an item, person, or belief that no longer serves you.

2. Recording Joys and Successes: Writing down all the little (and big) happy or rewarding moments from the last three months.

3. Setting Goals: Setting your goals for the next three months with your themes from the joys and successes in mind.

The final quarterly holiday is Evergreen Day on December 15. Celebrating it involves:

1. Giving with intention: Giving a gift, whether an item, time, or experience, to someone you care about that will bring them joy.

2. Recording Joys and Successes: Writing down all the little (and big) happy or rewarding moments you can remember from the last three months.

3. Setting Goals: Setting your goals for the next three months with your themes from the joys and successes in mind.

Do you have any holidays you've created?

A Poem of Hope and Connection in the Midst of Chaos

I put out a new poem on Bandcamp today called Diagnosis: Pandemic. It's a bit of hope for a time of chaos, and it's pay what you will. I hope you enjoy.

Joy and Loneliness

I've forgotten much of my childhood, but I remember lunches in eighth grade clearly. A pack of us ate together, sprawling across sidewalks and tables, discussing manga and classes and life. We were the misfits, the kids with hard home lives that pooled together in that concrete wasteland to form our own community. I remember laughing a lot, but also the deep loneliness that gripped so many of us. Jokes mixed with self-deprecation, blurred into talk of suicide, and then something made us laugh again.

For so many years, I wondered how even amidst the laughter, we all felt lonely. We were a community. We were friends. But we still felt deeply, achingly alone. Then, while listening to Unlocking Us with Brené Brown recently, I finally found an answer.

As Brené talked to Dr. Vivek Murthy, he mentioned three types of loneliness:

1. Lack of intimate, close connections, like best friends or partners or family you can be yourself fully with.

2. Lack of friendships, the people you spend your time with and feel connected to.

3. Lack of community, a bigger group and purpose you feel a part of.

Crucially, he pointed out that it's still possible to feel lonely, even if you only have one of those types of loneliness, and even in moments that are also ones of great joy.

I thought back on those lunchtime sprawls. We were a community, we were friends, but most of us were too afraid to trust each other, or lacked models of healthy vulnerability, and couldn't become truly close. I remember reaching out again and again to lackluster or lacking reciprocity outside of the space of lunch hours. I had friends. I had community. But my life lacked closeness, as so many of ours did.

Still, looking back, those lunch gatherings hold a sacred space in my heart despite it all. We built our own joy amidst loneliness and pain, and even if things still hurt while we laughed, we laughed amidst tragedy. And we laughed together.

Joy Amidst Pandemic

This month has been a jarring study in contrasts. It feels like the world outside my living room is descending into chaos while my own life transforms in unexpectedly wholesome ways. Watching the world be wracked by pandemic reminded me that no tomorrow is ever guaranteed, and that's led to me pursuing goals I might have delayed in the past. Whatever happens, I want to know I stepped into my present with all of myself.

In doing so, I've opened the door to so many magical moments. I got engaged to a man I love deeply and who loves me with the same love and intensity. I've had the thrilling whirlwind of applying for a promotion at my workplace, and watching my career goals grow and progress, along with my confidence in myself and my own capabilities. I've kept a steady 4.0 at my college, and I won the first writing competition I've had the courage to enter since I was a child. Life is growing in magical, wonderful ways, and I can't help but wonder if I would have found this much joy if I hadn't looked mortality in the face through pandemic. In the darkest of times, I sought hope and joy and a future. And, more than anything, I sought to live true to myself and my goals.

How will you step into the present with your whole self today?